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Publicado: Sab, 11 Nov 2006 8:52 am Asunto: Offtopic:these are hilarious jokes! |
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Sorry for offtopic! Timeoff, people! bunch of jokes I've found!
Hilarious stuff I wanna share with you.
The Blondes.
1.Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make.
A. A wind tunnel.
2.Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours.
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
3.Q. When is a blonde going to say something smart.
A. When she starts her sentence with , "A man once told me...
4.Q. What do you call a blonde with half a brain.
A. Gifted.
5.Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette.
A. Artificial intelligence.
6.Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks.
A. It takes too long to retrain them.
7.Q. What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg.
A. Nothing. They've never met.
Here is another good one.
Questions and answers about men.
1.Q. What do you call a man with half a brain.
A. Gifted.
2.Q. What is the thinnest book in the world.
A. "What Men Know About Women."
3.Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb.
A. One ... men will screw anything.
4.Q. How does a man take a bubble bath.
A. He eats beans for dinner.
5.Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper.
A. We don't know .... it's never happened...
6.Q. What is a man's idea of helping with the housework.
A. Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
7.Q. What's the difference between a man and E.T..
A. E.T. phoned home.
8.Q. What did God say after creating man.
A. I can do better.
9.Q. What are the two reasons why men don't mind their own business.
A. 1. No mind. 2. No business.
10.Q. How is a man like a snowstorm.
A. Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long it'll stay.
11.Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking.
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
13.Q. How do men sort their laundry.
A. "Filthy" and Filthy but wearable"
14.Q. Husband. "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've go nothing to put in it."
A. Wife. "You wear briefs, don't you."
And the last one the funniest... 
Girls vs boys.
Girls' English.
1.Yes. = No.
2.No. = Yes.
3.Maybe. = No.
4."It's your decision." = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
5."Do what u want." = You'll pay 4 this later.
6."We need to talk." = I need to bitch.
7.Sure. Go ahead. = I don't want you too.
8.I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, u stupid moron.
9.How much do u love me? = I did something today your not goin' like me 4.
10.Is my butt fat? = Tell me i'm beautiful.
11.You have to learn to communicate! = Just agree with me.
12.Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead.
Guy's English.
1.I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.
2.I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
3.I'm tired. = I'm tired.
4.Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
5.Can I take you to dinner? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
6.Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
7.May I have this dance? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
8.Nice dress. = Nice cleavage.
9.You look tensed, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.
10.What's wrong? = What meaningless self inflicted pshychological trauma are you going through now?
11.What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
12.I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
13.I love you. = Let's have sex right now.
14.I love you too. = Okay i said it we'd better have sex now!
15.Let's talk. = I am tryin' to impress you by shown that I'm a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me!
16.Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegel 4 you to have sex with other guys.
Did you like it? 
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